Farrah. 24. NYC

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Friday, February 26, 2016

Story time: Don't stay in a bad situation

This is going to be kind of a long post. Not too long haha, but kind of long. Oh and the sunset photo, I know it's random but I wanted to make the post a little bit less depressing...

Soo, once upon a time, I had a job. I was really happy about getting the job because it was my first "legit" job. I thought that it would help "get my foot in the door", make new friends, learn new skills outside of music, build my confidence, etc.

During my first two weeks of work, I shortly realized that my work situation was not "normal". My boss would call me at random hours outside of work, would insult me, ask me to work on holidays and weekends even though I was a part-time employee (who could not work overtime), made me perform tasks that were unrelated to my job description (like picking up dry cleaning, or going to the bike shop, or cleaning under their bathroom sink!!!). I let it slide because I wanted to prove to my parents, and mostly to myself that I could handle it. People have it much worse so I shouldn't even be complaining...

A couple of months in, my boss' real character began to reveal itself. They yelled at me for things that were absolutely outside of my control, they were demeaning, selfish, manipulative. I was given harsher treatment than all of my co-workers. My boss was super impatient with me, very flippant, ignored me when I gave them reminders, but then proceeded to yell at me if I did not give them enough. They accused me on a weekly basis for not doing my job well enough, and not working hard enough, even though I was one of their best employees (according to my co-workers and the staff in the company). Oh, and my boss was racist AND sexist. Cherry on top.

I had to take my work home with me, and periodically check the emails, which sucked. Every time they sent me text messages or called me, I would have to respond quickly, or else I would get an earful for not being prompt.

After 6 months of that nightmare, I quit. Thank God I did, because my mind was going crazy. I was so stressed out, always on edge. Always feeling dread when my phone buzzed or rang. Always fearing that my boss was going to yell at me for something else. And the kicker is, that on my last day, my boss did not thank me, did not wish me well, did not say bye, nothing. A few days later I get a text from them asking for a favor. I was livid. It was like a smack in the face, thanks for nothing!

I think that's enough ranting for today, but the tldr, moral of story is: if you feel like you're in a bad situation or relationship, one that is toxic, abusive, manipulative, etc, please do not feel like you "have to" stick around. Some situations are tough, and sometimes it's necessary to push through, use your own judgement. But if you ever get to the point of feeling like everything's "your fault", or that you have to tread on thin ice in order to avoid abuse, or please the other person, you're in a bad situation. Life is tough, and sometimes it's hard to find an escape, but if you can leave, do it. Don't stay in a bad situation to prove to yourself that you're strong enough, because sometimes, these things can ruin you. If you are unable to leave, try to seek help. Talk to people, talk to a counselor, do whatever you need to do to receive help!!!!

Anyway, sorry for this long-ass post. But let me know your thoughts. Thanks for reading.

Monday, February 22, 2016


I apologize from disappearing from the planet this week. The weather was kind of nuts last week. Last Sunday it was about 5 degrees Fahrenheit which is maybe -15 Celcius, on Monday, it snowed, then Tuesday there was a huge rain storm, and the temperature went all the way up to 55 degrees Fahrenheit! Isn't that nuts? I spent my whole week practicing, meeting with various friends and people, and eating haha. Life isn't too exciting but it's not bad, can't complain right? What have you guys been up to lately?

Friday, February 12, 2016

Organ Practice

On Friday I went over to one of my old churches to practice organ. I have a couple of church gigs lined up in the next few weeks, so I thought it would be a good idea to get a head start and actually practice.

I took piano lessons from age 4-14, and then switched over to organ when I was 15. It's a very powerful, intimidating instrument. The volume capabilities of this instrument can range from inaudible, to eardrum blasting. Many people think that it's very similar to the piano, but personally I think that they are both very different, even though they appear to be the same.

Let me break it down for you a bit:

1. Most acoustic pianos are very similar to each other. Most have 88 keys, with 2 or 3 pedals. Organs usually vary from one another. Some have one console (keyboard), some have 3 like the one pictured here, some have 5, some even have 7! How do people keep track of all those consoles (don't ask me)!

2. You control the volume on the piano with your fingers. If you want to play at a low volume, you hit the keys softly. On the organ, you usually control the volume with Volume pedals (those rectangle angled thingies seen in the 3rd photo above). So no matter how violently, or softly you hit a key on the organ, it will always sound the same!

3. The piano produces sound when hammers hit the strings. The organ makes sound through pipes. You press a key, opening up a channel, allowing wind to flow through the channel into a pipe that produces the sound.

4. The piano has a sustain pedal. If you play a note while holding down the sustain pedal, it will continue playing (until the string stops vibrating), even if you're not touching the note. That gives the notes the more "wet" sound. If you want to keep a note sustaining on the organ, the only way you can do so, is by physically holding down the note.

I can go on and on and on, but I kind of wanted to give you all a basic idea of the differences between the two instruments.

Anyway, hope you all had a good week and here's a question:
Do you play an instrument?

Sunday, February 7, 2016


Man am I TIRED. I had such a long day, and it's still not over. I woke this morning at 4:15am, after sleeping for only 3 hours, because I had to do some volunteer band tech work at Hillsong Church downtown. I got there at around 5:30, and got to working on setting up the instruments, mics, helping out the sound engineers even though I'm pretty clueless when it come to tech stuff. But I'm learning, and that's what matters right? So I stuck around for two services, helping out the FOH (front of house) guy, who controls the levels of everything, making sure the sound is clear, and well balanced. After I was done with my volunteering, I bought a burrito, and rushed home because I was starving. I think it's mostly because I'm tired, but I can't sleep now because I gotta leave the house in about 20 minutes ughhh. Anyway, hope you guys are having a nice Sunday, and talk to you all later!

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