Farrah. 24. NYC

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Tuesday, April 26, 2016

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Single vs. Taken

Spring is officially here. The weather is warmer, and couples are invading the streets, rubbing their relationship rainbow happiness in our single faces. Suckers...

Nahh I'm just kidding you guys. I'm not bitter (I promise haha), but it's interesting how the world treats single people versus taken people. They look at you, a single person, as incomplete. You don't have your life completely together unless you have someone by your side. And I get it, people naturally desire companionship, and sometimes you need to make changes in yourself in order to attract the right people. But if you're a well adjusted single person, no scratch that, even if you're NOT a well adjusted single person, why does your relationship status gotta put a value on you?

People tell you stop looking even though your friend met her husband through years of online dating. They tell you to "put yourself out there" even though your cousin met his girlfriend after bumping into her at the supermarket. They tell you to stop being so picky, because settling is better than being single. Being with someone is better than being with no one. Maybe being single is less fulfilling, maybe it's less fun, but even if those things were true, why is your worth as a person diminished because you're single?

In the church, there's this unspoken hierarchy; if you're married, you're a "more whole" Christian than the single Christians. You made that mysterious change in your life/yourself, that single people haven't figured out yet, and because of that God sprinkled that magic soulmate dust on you, and granted you the gift of marriage. Y'all don't know how much that irks me, that way of thinking, it's not even biblical...and I'm sure it's like that in many other religions.

A perfect example of this in real life: If a guy asks you out, and you say "no, I'm married" he backs off (most of the time), but if you say "no thanks, not interested", they feel threatened. Why?? I have the right to reject you as a taken person, but not as a single....

Anyway, this is sort of a weird rant, and I promise I'll get back to the normal stuff the next post. But let me know what you guys think, what your experiences were like as a single vs. taken, etc. 


  1. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a single person, ever. Not "until you're ready" or "until you find the right person..." There's nothing wrong with it other than the problems that single person has with it--personally. Being happy with yourself and confident in who you are as a WHOLE person, singularly, will make you a happy (single) person...and if finding someone else to compliment you (NOT make you "whole", as you already are whole yourself) is the goal, then being a happy and confident single person will help you to understand what you're looking for in a partner and will attract other whole persons who will compliment you in all the right ways.

  2. Unfortunately as much as I hate to admit it all the assumptions mentioned in your post are right, that is how people look at singles and it's wrong.

    Why can't you be a strong independent woman/man? oh wait you can! you can be just as good whether you have an SO or not.

    Cultivation of Jasmin

  3. Love this! I've never been taken so I can't compare, haha. I seriously just refuse to lower my standards and in the meanwhile I'm pretty happy on my own.

    Jane / deluminators

  4. I understand where you are coming from completely! I am not single right now, but before over time I would become very aggressive and challenge them basically to question WHY me being single has such an impact on them.

    nat - dignifiable

  5. Great post! There's definitely a ridiculous stigma around being single which I've never understood x


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